Ways to reduce chocolate consumption

These aren’t tips.  These are strategies.

1. Hide chocolate in a really unorganized pantry so they get lost in the clutter.  You will find them later and heroic music will play and it will be like Indiana Jones finding the Covenant.


2.  Get a tall person to hide chocolate at a higher altitude.  If a tall person is unavailable, this can be achieved with the help of a chair.  Remember to always put the back of the chair flush with the wall or cabinetry, so in case you fall backwards there isn’t the added complication of your foot getting caught in the chair.  Remember kids: safety first, middle, and last.

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                               No.                                                                          YES.                  

This strategy works best if you are short.  If you are tall, I suggest an even higher altitude, or, hide the chocolate somewhere really low.  Tall people usually do not bother bending down to the floor because it is so far away. 

The “high altitude” tactic is an excellent method as it will require you to conquer your laziness to achieve the target by either:
a) cajoling a tall person to help you
b) finding some apparatus to enhance your reaching abilities, or
c) climbing the counter like a squirrel.  

If laziness is overcome, then at least you got some physical exercise (in which case, I highly recommend the counter-climbing.  It adds a tinge of thrill to the whole matter).


3.  Last strategy: find someone to guard the chocolate.


Watch out for Barry.  He can get pretty feisty.